All posts tagged Teenagers

Stuck in my Mind

Published May 6, 2014 by Kappaloca

Sometimes when somebody tells you a story and you acknowledge it but don’t really Listen it often comes back later to bite you in the ass.

Such a story was told to me and it has not just bit me in the ass it is haunting me now.

How do I tell my dear friend who has been through so much in Life, who has taken care of her two kids on her own that her Gorgeously Beautiful daughter is a “User” 

In the aftermath of the death of “Freddy” and “Peaches” I have read their stories online and it breaks my heart to see the families who are left behind and the raw emotions visible in their eyes. 

I feel like screaming it out to Chelsea. How dare you? Why? After all your mom has had to endure and give up so you can have a better life, How could you? Do you even know where this is going to end up? 

You are only 17 Chelsea. Your whole entire Life ahead of you still.

Is this just a game to you? Do you even care? Is it just for fun and laughter?

Will you say you only just tried it once? Will you say your friends are all doing it and you did not want to be left out?

ONCE is all it takes for some. 

Did you think no one will ever see you or know about it?

You have unknowingly ended up on my daughter’s neighbours doorstep. My daughter has seen you there and she knows that the neighbour is not just a User, but also a Pusher of Lethal drugs like Heroin and Mandrax. The Parties, the smell and waft of Pot and the endless stream of young visitors makes it obvious. 

Anyone reading this will most probably immediately ask why she does not phone the Police and rightly so. Would you?

Do you know how influential these bastards are? They are very very connected and taking out one dealer and reporting them will just result in another sprouting up the next day. If they even suspect you of being the snitch, funny stuff starts happening around your house.  

My biggest concern here is the welfare of this 17 year old girl whom I have known since she was a baby. 

Snorting Coke and smoking weed is not a Game you play. 

How do I break this to your mother? 

Should I even consider doing so?

Is it worth the rejection from her? Because that is the first thing that will happen here.

I guess the fact that I know and am not saying anything makes it even worse. But if she should lose you it will eat me alive. 

I wish this on No parent, let alone a Friend.

For now it will stay stuck in my mind. My demons to take to bed with me.

Stay Safe tonight Chelsea. 


Saying Goodbye

Published April 17, 2014 by Kappaloca

Yet another friend has passed, yet another piece of my heart has been taken. 

I have lost 3 friends in a matter of months and have seen another friend battle the loss of his daughter a mere 2 months ago on her Graduation day. Death has been busy in the lives of a few friends in different parts of my life, but this one has touched the root core of my being.

I have lost a child and overcame my anger, frustration, fear and questions. I realised that life went on and I had to stay strong for the rest of my children, my husband and myself. 

We had been friends since I was 13 years old. We met at a local Shop were we played games on the Pinball Machines. Shona was a few years older than me and finished school 3 years before me. She started working and would share a lot of her income with me. The minute a new fashion craze hit the streets she would not just buy it for herself but I would get the same. Our articles of Choice was Shoes.The Whoppers, The Jellybabies, The latest fashion Tackies, we just had to have them.

We grew up in the 60’s. The era of Rock and Roll. The Stovepipe Jeans and the Cordurouy Jackets, The music was good, the times were good and we were teenagers! She bought me my first seven single – Barracuda and she bought me my first LP – Rocky Horror Picture Show. Had no idea at the time what all the hype was about and when it got banned I was glad we each had a copy before it got taken off the shelves. We went to the Cinema and the Drive – ins. we listened to The Top 20 Countdowns on a transistor Radio untill late night and sang the songs out loud. Oumi and Oupi as her Mom and Dad was fondly known, had to give more than 3 warnings about the noise and the laughter at sleep overs. 

We both had our Babies at a young age, but it came to a point where we went our separate ways. I moved to Johannesburg and she stayed on in Cape Town. I was hard for both of us and I soon asked her to weigh her options and move up and come stay with us. She did. 

We carried on with our Nursing careers at Various hospitals and after a year or so she moved into her own place. I hardly ever went anywhere without her. It was great to know she was there for me and I could be there for her at any time. She was the one who organised my Engagement party and helped me pack up when it was time for me and my Fiancée at the Time to move on. We made a silly Blood Vow to Never be angry and forget about each other. It was a sad time for all of us, but life had to go on. She stayed behind in Johannesburg for a while before moving back to Cape Town. Times got tough and she moved out to The Garden Route and lived with me again for a while until she got a place of her own. My children loved her and I loved hers. My children was hers and hers was mine. We spent virtually every weekend together.

Shona was the one who was with me the Day my son died in a tragic Drowning accident. She had urged me twice to rather fetch him, but i did not want him to get in the way as I was doing a Business call. She was the one who held it together for a long time for me. She got me through the days and the nights after the accident. For some time after that my mind is blank. I had to come back home alone. The calls got less for a while as she did not know how to handle ME.  

We never broke contact with each other even if it meant Letters and Phone Calls from a “Tickeybox” 

Every Visit to Cape Town always included a visit with her even it meant only a few minutes. 

As her health deteriorated I used to get updates via friends and family and still went to see her as often as was possible. On my last visit to Cape Town I had a bit of extra time and we spoke about times gone by and laughed at some of the stupid things we did. The days of Rock and Roll had passed and the age of Pille and Brille had arrived. Our Children is all grown up and Beautiful. We had become Seniors. It’s a fact we could not deny. We survived even if she had been dealt a few blows herself. Living without both your legs and bound to a wheelchair is not anybody’s choice of Lifestyle. Not what we envisioned our old age to be.

I am just glad that I could be part of the best memories as well as the saddest memories of our Friendship together.


Our Lives together was not one of friendship it was a Family bond 

Fly Free my sister, Fly Free with the Angels.



My Teenage Daughter is Pregnant.

Published July 15, 2013 by Kappaloca

The shock and horror when your seemingly  innocent 17 year old teenage daughter comes clean and demystifies her behaviour over the last few weeks. The words: “Mom, I am am pregnant !” seems to come drifting to you in slow motion, you don’t quite know if she had made an audible typo, but yet it’s there, it’s said. I needed air!  My heart went into overdrive and my head started pounding as the blood rushed through my body. I opened my mouth to speak/shriek, but i just instinctively knew that I needed to control my emotions. I closed my eyes and a 1000 memories rushed and flooded through me as I relived the moment MY parents had to told about my own pregnancy when I was just a teen of 15. My words:” You will have this baby!” I vowed to  stand by my daughter and there would be no discussions about abortion or adoption whatsoever. I am Pro-Life!!! This baby did not ask to be conceived. It will be born, raised, loved and welcomed into this world. The father of the baby has from day one stepped up and stood by my daughter and for that we are truly thankful as many a young teenager does not have the support and more often than not the “Dad” just does not stick around or starts making excuses and walks away from the responsibilities. My grandson came into this world two years ago and has totally taken over our lives. We cannot even begin to think life without him. He is a blessing and has brought our families so much joy. I have never regretted my decission to stand by my daughter and she makes me so proud. She went back to school to finish her Final exams and has done a sterling job of being a Mother, daughter, student and soon to be wife to the father of their son. I never had the privilege of seeing my eldest daughter grow up as she was taken from me at birth. I was too young to raise a child and it was after all still a sin and a shame to the family at the age of 15. I had not been given a choice. I was under aged and had no rights. At the age of 20 and after years of longing and wondering what had become of my child my daughter had found me.  Today I have a beautiful relationship with her and for that I am thankful.

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