So it’s arrived. 2014
I have not written for a while and every night i promised myself to just type a few words, but the heat and the exhaustion won every time.
I am a Housewife, Lady of Leisure, Granny, blah blah blah and all that. But come end November I always unwittingly find myself back in the Job Market. I promised myself last year at the end of yet another crazy season of getting up at 4am in the Mornings and turning in at 1 to 2am in the mornings that I will not do it to myself or my Family again and here I sit.
For me Season starts with the Students knocking off and flocking to our Beautiful Coastal Paradise. In their thousands. They take over Residences, Lodges, Hotels, Flats and Complexes and some just sleep on the Beaches or in Tents. Some don’t seem to sleep at all.
Then it’s the turn of the working Class. The super Rich and the one’s who worked their asses off to put together the funds to have a two to three weeks Holiday and they expect only the Best. Restaurants are full to capacity and our little Town get invaded and over run by Obnoxious, Rude, Snotty and some just downright idiotic Holiday makers. Shop Owners employ up to three times the normal amount of People to oversee and help Customers who spend big bucks. We should be Grateful and mostly we are, but Geez can they leave the Grumpy Husband and Bratty Kids on the Pavement when they do Shopping? You get these Moms who for 350 days of the Year have a “Nanny” that takes care of their Children”s needs and then wham!! Nanny goes on Holiday too and Mommy IS on Holiday but has no clue as to how to handle her own kids. They Screech, Yell, want, demand and Need! Mommy wants to be on the Beach the whole day and starts getting that haunted look after the 3rd Day so she just goes with the flow and gives in to their every Tantrum.
Being on Holiday means No Cooking. Eat Out and Take Out is at the order of the Day. But that brings out the worst in every picky eater. The Menu says one thing and they want it changed to something else. menu says Scrambled eggs they want poached. Menu says 2 strips of Bacon they want 3. Menu says with Chilli they want Mayonnaise. There is 7 orders waiting to be completed and a Customer walks in and says, Can they please make mine first I am in a hurry and my kids are hungry. what buddy? So is every other person who came before You!!
Retailers, Food Chains, Supermarkets, Suppliers and especially Bottle Stores are run off their feet and pushed to their Limits with the needs and want and we just have to Smile and Wave. When you run out of something and not even the Suppliers can Supply you have to come up with emergency measures and go the extra Mile but no one seems to care or even Notice.
My ultimate pet hate is Customers who get excellent Service and attentiveness from a waiter and then leaves them either no tip or a mere 50c. The waiters are mostly young Students who at a cost get to work and try to make a few extra bucks to enable them to also enjoy the spoils of the Season and buy Christmas gifts with money they earned.
I run a few pages on Social networks and also do Web pages for friends with Small Businesses. I have to maintain that in the evenings and do Updates on their behalf. I have a family who needs me and I still have to cook for them after doing 12 hours straight. Then work on my List of necessities for tomorrows influx of Customers and still get a good nights rest. The heat does not dissipate. I feel like just packing it in and doing what comes naturally. be a Granny, Housewife and sit on my ass, but no such chance.
Walked into centre of Town to fetch Supplies and walked into a familiar face. She looks ten times more haggard than I feel. Her Staff walked out on her and she is jostling it all alone. Have to be in 10 places all at once and offers me a Job right there. Will see her next week.
So bring it on 2014!! Let’s do this!
Wishing all my Followers a fantastic Year ahead.
It has taken me a while to get myself to admit it.
I miss you. Terribly. I am not one for drama and long grieving after someone has left this world for the freedom of eternity, but your death has had me in tears for days.
You were just a friend. an extra ordinary friend. We met on my Birthday and in those few hours during my Birthday party I sort of fell in love with you. I knew instantly that you would make a massive impact in my life and you did. We spent hours talking as if we had known each other for years. I could confide in you with my deepest darkest secrets.
You told me your story. Not all of it nice, but I understood the rage within.
You grew up in a very solid family but always felt different. You yourself did not understand until you met Michelle. You knew then that your feelings were real and it had been all along. You had to say it and admit it. You were GAY. You could NEVER tell your mother (hereafter referred to as SHE) as she would not approve or understand. The way she found out was to almost be the beginning of the end for you.
She caught you kissing a girl intimately. She was furious and wanted to kill you and even went to get her gun. She chased you out of her house. So you just left. But leaving was not as easy as anyone would believe. You took charge of your life and dealt with it in your own way. You rebelled. You did anything and everything you knew would grind the stone of her heart even further. You started drinking and smoking and went a step further and tried the hard core stuff. That led to dependency, which led to having to sustain your habits which in turn made you deal. The ultimate pit of darkness. She did find out. She tried to intervene. You would have none of it. This was your world and your life. You left behind the one person you really loved but that sacrifice was a small one to pay. You never really loved another like you did Michelle.
And then the crash……… You almost lost your life that day. The doctors had no hope for you. Broken back, broken pelvis, broken facial bones, Broken arms. You spent months in Hospital and in Therapy, but you survived. You survived because God had a plan for you. Given you a new lease on life. a second chance. You were drug Free and sober,but you were still unhappy and unfulfilled. Something was still missing and She did not make life any easier as she was still steadfast in her belief that it was just a phase. So you took a chance and showed her the phase. You phased her out by leaving, again. You took on a job in the Bird park in my home town. The scars would never fade and the pain would never stop, but you lived with it in a way. One day at a time.
You started drinking again soon after the accident to cope. Cope with the pain. No excuse but you believed it and I had no right to argue with you. We became best friends. Never anything else. You kissed me once on a dare and I did not mind. You were committed to your work and never failed any assignments. There were times when you wanted to give up, but that never happened. You got a dog. You loved that runt. The naughtiest 4 legged creature ever but he was yours and he loved you unconditionally. He was your Tattoo. (His name) You did have a tattoo on your arm. a tattoo of a wolf with the words: The souls of the dead lives on in the eyes of wolves. You did that to piss her off even more as you knew how much she hated that too.
You came to me in tears one day and it took me back with surprise as you did not easily show emotion. You showed me the text message. a message from HER. She had bought you a plane ticket home for a visit. That was the last thing you had wanted to do. a Family reunion. You came and slept over at my house the day before you had to leave and I had never seen you get so drunk. We had to leave pretty early the next morning as we had an hours drive to the airport. You said you could not care and drank another few beers on the way to the airport. You cried all the way there. I tried my best to comfort you and kept telling you it will be all right. It was just a few days. Knock it back and take it in your stride. and then I played you a song that would become almost an anthem for you. Duffy’s – Distant Dreamer. http://youtu.be/aRCLkic9_lE
You came back and had an almost renewed spirit. You did not want to go back there again in a while. You got stuck back into work and life went on. We had fun in the Park and you spent a lot of time with me in the Restaurant. I always made sure your Lunch was ready as I knew you don’t like cooking. At the end of the month on Pay days we always went for lunch in town and just talked about the things we would still like to do. And then when it came time to renew my lease of the Restaurant I was given a devastating blow. The owner did not want to renew my lease as he had other plans with the premises. I was furious and mad and sad all at the same time, but as time went on I also knew that he had done me no injustice. We did not see each other much after that, but kept in contact and even went to Lunch on the odd occasion. Phone calls on Birthdays and meeting up in Town for a quick chat.
a few weeks back I bumped into you in Town as you were getting medication at the pharmacy and told you that it had been way overdue for a visit. We promised each other to make a plan soon. You told me that there was another visit with Her in the pipeline and then it would be Season. Season meant that you would be working solid for a few weeks before getting a break, but you would then come for a visit. I was looking forward to that.
and then the phone Call …………. You were GONE!!!!!!!!!! Just like that! Complications due to Pneumonia. How was this possible?
I did not get to say Good Bye. I did not even know you were so sick. R. I. P.
I heard it spoken, I took it in, but there was just silence. It took a while for me to Comprehend. and then the Tears came. And when it came I could not stop them. I never knew that I would be so overwhelmed and devastated by the death of a Friend. a very special and dear friend. You were that friend that I could finish sentences for and carry on a conversation where we left off a month ago.
I will miss you, I will mourn you and Forever keep you in my Heart. I am unable to even control my tears now as I write this.
As for HER, I never met her or even spoke to her and cannot get myself to even call and find out what the funeral arrangements are or what will happen to Tattoo.
May you rest in peace my beautiful friend. May your soul roam free.
I just watched this Clip:
So then what does happen? How is it that we cannot hold on? hold on to those moments that started the action or the growth?
You find a guy, you fall in love. That love is so intense that it hurts. It causes butterflies, makes your face light up every time you see each other. Your time becomes collective to only one meaning: getting to see him as soon as possible again. You start losing weight, you wear your clothes differently, you brush your hair more often, apply make-up more vibrantly. Anything to impress and draw the person closer to you. The touch makes you shudder, the kisses make you swoon, the cuddles and the strolls and the talking and the dreaming aloud,the showing each other off becomes a highlight in your life. Spending time together is the ultimate in holding on. The memories you take home is burnt into your brain. You don’t want to lose them. You smell each other in your clothing for hours afterwards. You don’t want to live without the other person. and then one day….it changes. Some changes are subtle others comes crashing down on you. The cheating, the lying, the abusive relationships, the name calling. Is there really anything to make you stay?
But every thing has to die and fade away! Everything! Even Love can die.
From the smallest creature to the biggest Mountain has to change and die. and so it is with love.
We often hear people say they fell out of love with a person. Why? What causes a reaction like that?
I personally think it’s all good to fall out of love with some one who just does not make you happy, but how does it happen? why? why does it happen? I also hear the phrase: we have grown in love together.
I think we all want to grow old with that very special some one and stay Forever in love. Few have mastered this.
Even the brittlest of flowers started from a seed, grew and blossomed, came into it’s own beauty, sowed it’s seeds,roughed the storms and the waters and the winds and the rain and then wilts and dies.
Live Life to it’s fullest today and never regret anything.
Love as much and as hard as you can, walk away from the things you cannot love or don’t need and appreciate your love.
But always remember that if you never Loved you will die too.
I fail to comprehend why any person in their right mind can justify the actions of this Atrocity.
Am I delusional?
Is she herself deluded?
I do want to agree with her on one point though, He is not a Monster. He is a Sick, demented, twisted man. Whether it took a month a year or ten years before he did it the first time. The point is he did and if it was not for the fact that her children had witnessed this barbaric incident she might be dead today.
Some of the comments left under the article said: He did not mean to harm you, he meant to KILL you. They are right.
I sincerely hope you get the help you yourself need dear Lady.
Today I had the privilege of doing an Interview with the man who saved my life once.
He is the Headmaster of the School that all my Children had attended and some are still there.
He is retiring at the end of the Year after 19 Years. I had to do an Interview with him for a Local Website that I contribute to on a freelance basis.
I met him 19 Years ago at a local Restaurant where I took my daughter for Lunch. I had just had a Hiatus hernia Operation about a week and a half prior to this day. I could not eat any solid foods yet and had to be very careful of what and how I swallowed.
We got so engrossed in our conversation that I completely forgot about what I was doing and without a second thought I snuck a chip off her plate and stuck it in my mouth. I chewed it and swallowed.
The instant it went down my throat I knew that I had just made the worst mistake of my Life. I could not breathe and the chip went all foamy and started to swell up in the back of my throat. It was like chewing an effervescent Pill. It just foamed and foamed but would not go down or come back up. My eyes started to bulge and I could not breathe or speak. I was choking. My life flashed in front of my eyes and the next thing I looked into the eyes of the man sitting at the opposite table with his wife and three young Daughters. He asked me if I was ok and I started shaking my head from side to side.
He jumped up and grabbed me from behind. He did the Heimlich Manoeuvre on me. The first jolt did nothing and he tried again.
The first breath I took was painful and it burnt like hell, but I knew I would be ok.
Today I told him this story for the first time since that day and it was like a lightbulb had gone off in his head. He remembered but never knew it was me.
He has been a rock and a pillar in the Community for 19 Years and dedicated himself to his profession. Any child who had ever crossed his path has gone forth in Life, Richer, Wiser and he will be sorely missed by the Children.
He has meant so much in the Life of my children and myself. I am forever indebted to him.
The Interview that was supposed to last about 30 minutes ended up being an in depth look at the amazing Person that made leaders out of children who thought they would never make it. Two hours later we walked away from the Interview and I can almost write a book about this incredible person.
We don’t talk about abuse as much as we should…..Because
- Because nobody else is talking about it and I’ll feel like the only one
- Because I don’t want anyone else to know my dirty secret
- Because I didn’t think about talking about it until now
- Because I am afraid
- Because I don’t want to get low
- Because it’s overwhelming….. there’s too much and if I start talking will I ever stop talking?
- Because I want to still be me and not a victim
- Because I don’t want people feeling sorry for me
- Because I don’t want my batterer or abuser to win by letting it affect my life now
- Because I’ve moved on and don’t want to go back
- Because I don’t want counseling…..only weak people need counseling
- Because I…
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