Saying Goodbye

Published April 17, 2014 by Kappaloca

Yet another friend has passed, yet another piece of my heart has been taken. 

I have lost 3 friends in a matter of months and have seen another friend battle the loss of his daughter a mere 2 months ago on her Graduation day. Death has been busy in the lives of a few friends in different parts of my life, but this one has touched the root core of my being.

I have lost a child and overcame my anger, frustration, fear and questions. I realised that life went on and I had to stay strong for the rest of my children, my husband and myself. 

We had been friends since I was 13 years old. We met at a local Shop were we played games on the Pinball Machines. Shona was a few years older than me and finished school 3 years before me. She started working and would share a lot of her income with me. The minute a new fashion craze hit the streets she would not just buy it for herself but I would get the same. Our articles of Choice was Shoes.The Whoppers, The Jellybabies, The latest fashion Tackies, we just had to have them.

We grew up in the 60’s. The era of Rock and Roll. The Stovepipe Jeans and the Cordurouy Jackets, The music was good, the times were good and we were teenagers! She bought me my first seven single – Barracuda and she bought me my first LP – Rocky Horror Picture Show. Had no idea at the time what all the hype was about and when it got banned I was glad we each had a copy before it got taken off the shelves. We went to the Cinema and the Drive – ins. we listened to The Top 20 Countdowns on a transistor Radio untill late night and sang the songs out loud. Oumi and Oupi as her Mom and Dad was fondly known, had to give more than 3 warnings about the noise and the laughter at sleep overs. 

We both had our Babies at a young age, but it came to a point where we went our separate ways. I moved to Johannesburg and she stayed on in Cape Town. I was hard for both of us and I soon asked her to weigh her options and move up and come stay with us. She did. 

We carried on with our Nursing careers at Various hospitals and after a year or so she moved into her own place. I hardly ever went anywhere without her. It was great to know she was there for me and I could be there for her at any time. She was the one who organised my Engagement party and helped me pack up when it was time for me and my Fiancée at the Time to move on. We made a silly Blood Vow to Never be angry and forget about each other. It was a sad time for all of us, but life had to go on. She stayed behind in Johannesburg for a while before moving back to Cape Town. Times got tough and she moved out to The Garden Route and lived with me again for a while until she got a place of her own. My children loved her and I loved hers. My children was hers and hers was mine. We spent virtually every weekend together.

Shona was the one who was with me the Day my son died in a tragic Drowning accident. She had urged me twice to rather fetch him, but i did not want him to get in the way as I was doing a Business call. She was the one who held it together for a long time for me. She got me through the days and the nights after the accident. For some time after that my mind is blank. I had to come back home alone. The calls got less for a while as she did not know how to handle ME.  

We never broke contact with each other even if it meant Letters and Phone Calls from a “Tickeybox” 

Every Visit to Cape Town always included a visit with her even it meant only a few minutes. 

As her health deteriorated I used to get updates via friends and family and still went to see her as often as was possible. On my last visit to Cape Town I had a bit of extra time and we spoke about times gone by and laughed at some of the stupid things we did. The days of Rock and Roll had passed and the age of Pille and Brille had arrived. Our Children is all grown up and Beautiful. We had become Seniors. It’s a fact we could not deny. We survived even if she had been dealt a few blows herself. Living without both your legs and bound to a wheelchair is not anybody’s choice of Lifestyle. Not what we envisioned our old age to be.

I am just glad that I could be part of the best memories as well as the saddest memories of our Friendship together.


Our Lives together was not one of friendship it was a Family bond 

Fly Free my sister, Fly Free with the Angels.




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