I have never suffered from depression, ADHD, Bi-Polar Syndrome or any other illness but I never ever want another day like today. So much pain and suffering of others.
a Friend and her daughter that have been abused mentally and Physically, my own daughter who suffers abuse by the hands and mouth and mental incompetence of her husband, who is an addict, and the trauma he is causing my grand-children, another friend suffering in silence and now a best friend who is pissed with me, because I had not included her in my Birthday plans. i did not make the plans, others did. I feel so bad. Now she wont even answer my messages.Another person that I don’t know from a bar of soap asking for my help in finding out who the girl is that her husband is having an affair with.
I suppose it is easy to say it but I never want to go there (depression), I will not allow myself to fall into that pit. But as the saying goes: Never say never.
It could so easily overwhelm me.
The way I feel tonight is so Sombre and Desolate, but my tears won’t come. I want to weep. Weep for them who are struggling to make it through the night. I plead understanding from those who are angry with me.
I feel like I have fallen into a world where I can join The Croods. Deep, dark, and only a Cave away from going insane.
How can I help them? What do I do? What do I say? Where do I start or is it just not my problem.
If I do say or do anything I might just make it worse. If I don’t do anything they will think I don’t care.
For now I choose to be a Crood. I am going to crawl into my Cave and roll a rock in front of it. I need to sit in the dark and listen to nothing but the silence, but then I am afraid I will get engulfed with emotions I don’t want to feel. Images in my mind I don’t want to see.
Even if there is a Rock in front of the cave I need to roll it away and let the Sunshine in. I don’t need the darkness I need the Light. I wish them Light, Healing and Forgiveness.