Soon after she left for the 3rd or was it 4th time?, he started leaving her threatening messages on her cell phone and vowed to make her life a living hell if she did not come back. When I first saw her after she arrived I was shocked. Something was wrong, very wrong. She walked funny and kept holding her arm up across her chest. I also noticed a bit of a slur in her speech.
This was NOT my friend any more. She had become hard and cold. She chopped me off mid sentence and was irritable. She drank way too much aspirin and told me that her headaches was worse than they had ever been before. When we were alone and I had the chance I asked her what had happened and she told me that she had had to get the cops out to put a stop to his behaviour as she had had a minor stroke and was lying on the kitchen floor for almost 4 hours whilst he just walked either past her or over her, He kept yelling at her to get up or he will fuck her up. She could not move and had drool coming out the side of her mouth. He would pour himself a drink and in passing would just accidentally step on her or spill his drink on her. He twice told her to just hurry the fuck up and die already. He walked to the lounge and sat down in front of the Television casually watching a movie. He called out her name and told her that she had better get up off the floor or he would kick her to death if she was still lying in his way when he came back for his next drink. She showed me the pictures on her cell phone of the 36 (Empty 750ml ) Brandy Bottles. He had consumed all of this in ONE week. She eventually managed to drag herself to the bathroom and as she was about to pull herself up to the toilet he came up to her and pushed her aside with his foot and told her she could wait because he needed to have a crap. She had to lie on the floor and listen and watch and smell as he finished his business. She tried asking him to get her phone so she could phone a doctor but he just laughed it off and told her to stop acting like a cunt. He told her she was a shit actress. She ended sleeping (passed out??) on the bathroom floor in her soiled clothes. When she woke ( came to??) the next morning he had left for work.
He continuously phoned her through out the day and as she could not speak properly she battled to get her words out straight. He asked her what the Fuck was wrong with her and that she had better sober up before he got home. (Remember she does not drink)
When he came home that night and saw that there really was something wrong with her and offered to take her to a doctor she felt too embarrassed to let him and said no. She had cleaned up and washed as best she could. For a few days things were quiet, but she was not allowed to go anywhere. She was isolated and alone. All she had were her close friends that she connected with via cell phone. This was only possible when he was at work. When he was home with her she had her phone on silent and played games on her Pc. Nothing that required being on the internet.
Just before she left yet again she had found his Social Media Page Logged in and was just about to log it out before she re thought the situation and clicked on messages. There he was having conversations with women from his past and even women whom he only knew from social media. (Just like he had met her) Women who were single, married, in relationships and ones he chatted to on group pages. He was in more than one conversation discussing her in detail and made vulgar comments about her body. He also told these women how he would like to meet up with them and what he would do to them in finest detail. Most of the replies was nothing other than invites from them as well. Discussing how lonely they were and how lousy their husbands and partners were in bed. She copied some of them and kept them in a file on her Pc, before logging out of the site. She was so angered and infuriated by the mere audacity of these messages that she had made a comment on his wall as if it was him himself who had done so. (Big Mistake) He started getting phone calls from friends asking him what the hell he was doing and obviously denied it all as he was still at work and is not allowed usage of his cell phone whilst on duty. (Although most did anyway) His phone was not equipped for internet usage anyway. He put two and two together and took her on Full force when he got home. And instead of just denying what she had done she confessed, which made it worse. He made copies of her posting before removing it and vowed to use it against her in a court of law if she tried leaving again. She had taken a beating and some more as he repeatedly punched her in the stomach and across her arms and chest. At one point she could not handle it any more and walked to the kitchen to get away from him, but he followed. He found her with a knife in her hands that she was going to use to slice cheese for herself for a piece of toast and he asked her if she would like to commit suicide as he could help with that. When she said yes she feels like it he grabbed her hands and dragged the blade side of the knife across her pulse. Thank Goodness it was only surface, but that was the first thing I saw the next morning when I skyped her. She still thought it best to lie about it and tell me she had accidentally cut herself before coming out with the truth and showing me her breasts and shoulder. She was black and blue all over and could hardly move, much less breathe freely. I begged her to get out and start packing. She did not deserve this. But still she was to shit scared to leave. What would it take this time to make her come “Home” ?
As I did not have a Blackberry and was not connected other than via home phone and Facebook I was not always aware of what was happening and when. She refrained from leaving any posts on her Wall as some jerk might just squeal again and start a fit of fury or silent treatment for her. She has not been able to pinpoint who the rat in her circle of friends was that kept running to him with all the shit stories and her whereabouts. I was also not always clued up on his working hours as this changed from day to day. I got a notice from a friend that had asked me if I had seen that she is on her way “home”. AGAIN!! Her status update showed that she was a mere 3 Towns away.
This time she arrived with a friend and asked the security at the complex where she lived to let no one in that asked for her home number. I was thrilled to see her and spend some time with her. She looked so relaxed. She was her old self again and her arm and speech was much better too. I mentioned that I wanted to see if I could find myself a Blackberry too so I could be instantly aware of where she is and stay in contact with her and my family who almost all had one too, when she said I could have her old one if I had it fixed. I did just that and it made me feel as if it was the best thing anyone had ever done for me. We made plans to get together over the weekend and just have some alone time. She had spoken to a lawyer and had started divorce proceedings.
I felt like jumping up and down and cheering as I listened to her vow not to go back ever again, but deep down inside I knew she would at a drop of a hat go back again if he started begging her. I could not tell her what to do. She had to make that decision herself but wished I could tell her to just delete him off her phone or simply just switch it off for a few days and find herself. She had unpacked and cleared herself of all the cobwebs. She was her old self again and smiled and laughed easy. I was happy to see her be herself again. The Saturday evening came and I sent her a text to say I would start the fire at 5pm. I made salads and prepared my dishes and looked forward to having her over. She replied a few minutes later to say she is too lazy and cold to move. I did not want to push her so I said it’s fine and that I understood. She came by unannounced the next day and we spent an hour or two together. She asked if my husband would be able to help her drain and replace the oil in her car and we arranged for it to be done the Monday. Monday came and went and I heard nothing from her so I sent her a BB text asking her if she was still coming over. I saw that the text was delivered but not read so I sent her friend a text too asking if she was busy. The reply took every last bit of breath straight out of my lungs. She simply said: “See her Status”
One week, Just one week that’s all it took for her to melt and feel sorry for him again and believe his lies, and so without telling anyone she left and went back to him.
I love you with all my heart and you will always be my friend, but I cannot stand by any more and listen to the whistle blow. I so badly and madly want to see you happy but cannot believe you any more when you tell me to my face that it’s all over and then you turn around and go back. He will make you wear his ring FOREVER. a ring is eternal and Abuse is just what it is, Eternal as well. it’s Forever. The more you go back the more you lose. every single time you go back he is the winner and you lose a little more of yourself and the respect and love of those that really care for you the most. What will it take for you to become Free of the bondage of that ring? Death? By his hands?